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End-user Genetic Manipulation
Joseph Ritchey

GM End user: Not available in Kansas

On the way to work this morning I heard on the radio that genetics have for the first time successfully made a mouse egg cell from mouse stem cell. Whether the cell is viable or not still remains to be proven. But for the genetics' it is a huge step in Genetic Manipulation with mammals. This got me wondering what if genetics' could one day make a GM end user.

With Genetic Manipulation we could remove the genetic traits from the end user that we hate so much and insert traits to make our lives simpler. Sorry Kansas since Darwinism passed you by, you can't have one. Here is a quick genetic profile of my perfect end user:

Traits I would remove:

There voice, and end user that can talk isn't really a good end user at all. No more three hour conversations as they try to explain there problem and how they shut off the monitor five times and the screen was still stuck or how they keep, "accidentally" keep kicking the box on they floor and then there computer turns off. End user will have there voices replaced with a stick, so they will have to tap out there problems in Morse Code. But instead of giving them the knowledge of Morse Code they will tap the rhythm of whatever the latest billboard Ten Top hit is. This will work really well since I don't know Morse Code anyways, and I can be entertained while I'm working on there problem. And if they get annoying I can just take their stick away.

The ability to walk into my office, end user will no longer have the ability to walk near my office. This is a genetic trait designed for those end user that send an email about a problem then walk into my office to complain that the problem isn't fix before I can read their email. Instead of replacing this trait, I think it would be fun to insert a gene that cause seizures when end user come with in a 20 foot radius of my office. This is fun for many reasons, one is that you will never be out of milk shakes, two there always a chance that one end user you hate so much will swallow there tongue.

Traits I would add:

The ability to click the start button. One thing I have found is that every OS with a GUI interface has some sort start button where shortcuts to programs are stored. Another certainty is that if it's not on the desktop end user completely lack the ability to find it.

The ability to tell the difference between a computer and other electronic devices (ie., calculators, faxes, ...) For some reason end user think that just because we are good with computer that we can and should fix anything that runs on electricity. This will take some of the fun out of my day when people bring me there toaster oven from home to fix. And I dismantle it and send it back to them through the mail one part at a time, but I'm willing to give that up.

If you have anything you would genetically add to you end users let me know JosephRitchey@TheNetworkAdministrator.com 



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