2. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
1. The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity but
not necessarily in that order.
3. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live
4. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3
friends. If they're OK, you're it.
5. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than bad news. (Douglas
6. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn. (2 Ass Jones)
7. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
8. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn. (Also listed in the
9. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test you will forget where you
10. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
11. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
12. Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
13. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the
average man can see better than he can think.
14. Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to
criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.
15. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you
feel happy to be on your way.
16. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
17. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you
left them to where you can't find them.
18. Law of Dispersal Probability : Whatever it is that hits the fan will
not be evenly distributed.
19. If it is true that we are what we eat then everyone must be fast,
cheap and easy!!!!!!