are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth
How to make people think you are a Network
Praise Linux, it's better than sex. It's infallible, flawless and perfect.
Even though you say these things you probably have never even used the
software or know anything about it, but it's the latest rage among dateless,
teenage pimple faces. So it must be good.
2) Anytime a NetAdmin speaks of a problem they are having on there network,
ask them what NOS they are using, when they respond with anything but Linux,
tell them that's there problem see number one). You know I only have a CNA,
CNE and CNI in three different versions of Netware and 8 years of experience
using it, I should just switch my entire 22 server network, to Linux
overnight. Why don't you have my job? I mean you are the genius here, I've
been working on that problem for weeks and you knew the answer off the top
of your head. Change my entire Network Linux--brilliant!
3) Bash Microsoft. Like Doug says it's usually a very convenient thing to do
and it's socially acceptable, but is it really that bad? I have worked
with both Windows 2000 and NT 4.0 servers and performance wise they are
pretty good. Yes there are some security issues (ok lots of them) ok a whole
boatload of them, but they are not nearly as bad as people make them seem.
As far as OS's go, you really think you can teach an end user Linux? Give me
a break. So if you want to sound like a Network Administrator, bash
4) Bash Gateway. Okay, I'm guilty of this myself. Their hardware is
terrible. If you buy from Gateway be sure to be the 5 year warranty you'll
need it. I work for a Government agency and Gateway is our approved vendor,
I have no choice but to buy them. So if you ever come work for me and want
to sound like a real NetAdmin, tell me 150 times over and over again I
should by Dell, and I'll fire your ass too.
5) Say things like you need Broadcom drives or Firewire is the way to go.
You know you can make that pc go faster if you overclock it. Never mind the
fact that you have no idea what these phrases mean and what effect they may
have on a network, or even if they are completely incompatible with the
current platform. You read those things in a trendy computer magazine so
they must be great.
6) Subscribe to 800 trade magazines and put them on your coffee table. Even
though you won't read them or even know what anything inside of them mean.
They're there so people will think you are important. Go ahead leave one in
the bathroom too, you'll fool everybody
7) Force stuff down everyone's throat even though they don't need it. When
Grandma's mouse breaks and all she needs is a simple $3 replacement one,
Tell her she needs a new $60 wireless optical mouse. Just because you know
they exist makes, you a NetAdmin. Yeah she really needed that webcam too.
8) My personal favorite is hang around the computer aisle at Circuit City
and every time someone looks at something, tell them that it's crap and
recommend something else. Even though you have no idea what a wireless hub
does, it doesn't matter, you'll look like you know what you're talking
about. Hey, everyone loves a know it all and besides those salespeople
aren't as helpful as they should be.
9) Write an article for www.thenetworkadministrator.com
that'll really fool them. Especially when you do nothing but complain about
end users and recent college grads.
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