The Bitter  Network Administrator

                                                A Website Dedicated to Computer Professional...and some not so Professional

Green Megs and Spam
by Doug Chick

I have become so frustrated with Spam that I have given up and joined the Spammers. I am sick of playing by rules that no one else obviously observes. So I put together a Harvester, (trademark pending) collected a ton of e-mail and decided to do a bit of spamming myself. For two months in a row I spammed a newsletter that introduced my website. It worked great too! I received tons of hits that would have taken six months to generate on my own. But I was also labeled a Spammer by four geeks that complained about it. I didnít really like being called a Spammer, but I am and thatís the way itís going to be for now on. Anyways, I received so many good e-mails about my site that who cares what a couple of nuts have to say? And still it nagged at me.

Monday mornings e-mail was particularly swollen with Spam, and I began the morning ritual of delete, delete, delete. I gave up a long time ago with blocking subnet ranges and complaining to ISPísóitís not worth it! Iím not wasting my time chasing Spam. Iíll let the four guys that e-mailed me about my spamming save the Internet. So I continued, delete, delete, deleteÖdeleteóI donít know what happened but, suddenly I was outraged that I had to delete this much Spam from my own mailbox--Iím a network engineer! (patent pending) So I immediately grabbed up the next few e-mails and was able to successfully track the third one to its originator. (A porn site.)  Well now, I can do more with an IP Address than Dennyís and do with eggs. The trick in shutting down services on someoneís system is to first change the logon account that is associated with the service so that rebooting wonít fix it. (geeks first instinct) And of course the administrators password so once the system has rebooted they canít log on to fix anything.

Anyways, I was happily going along staging an all nighter for the Network Administrator that belongs to this porn site when I realized that I too am a Spammer. I paused, not knowing what to do. Was I suppose to honor some strange professional courtesy? Would my Harvester, (trademark still pending) be forever stripped from my ability to use it? Hell, I havenít even been to my first Spammers meeting. Thatís when I realized that I didnít want to be known to anyone as a Spammer. Even if it was just to a few geeks that frequent a Usenet that no one above the rank of HelpDesk attendant goes to. In fact, I hate Spammers. I donít want anyone calling me a Spammer, but it was too late. I Spammed.  I was going to quit after the first one. I thought I could control it. But it was too easy to obtain thousands of e-mails. I even discovered Spam traps, but they were too lame and my summers harvest of e-mails would quickly rise. I can see how some of these people can become so easily out of control. So I was wrong, and a little goof from Finland named Atro, was right. Spamming is too out of control on the net and I do not want to be a part of it. I regret do it.

From now I will only use my computer powers for good, but not too good. After all I was already in the Porn Spammers System. I just couldnít abandon it. What would you have done? J