Battle of the Engineers
by Doug Chick
is a battle being fought around this world that very few people have ever
heard of. It’s not fought over boundaries, religion, or even political
ideology; it is the battle over whether or not network certified individuals
have the right to refer to themselves as Engineers. An example of this would
be: Microsoft Certified System Engineers, or Cisco Engineers or
Netware…and so on. And there are a lot of Engineers out there that are
down right upset, if not enraged. I’ve read an article that in Canada;
charges can actually be filed against computer people that use this title on
their certifications. These blokes are serious.
And I can understand why these people are upset I just
don’t care. Loosen up Pointexters! No one’s going to take away your
pocket protector. Computer people don't even use pens.
Most computer people are referred to as computer gods,
not a network engineers. But because Certified Network God scares the
faith-based portion of our population, (dumb-ass end-user) it is necessary
to disguise ourselves with lesser titles such as engineers. This allows us
to work among the general population without frightening them. So if you
could just be a little more tolerant, then the next time that your hard
drive becomes a quantum singularity from gravitational density of all the
animal porn that you downloaded, and your monitor becomes the event horizon
and doesn't allow light to escape, we might just fix it without having to
alert the entire company where you work just what a pathetic lonely anal
porn monger you really are. Well, except for other Certified Network Gods
that are in constant contact with each other.
So, Sanitation Engineer, Domestic Engineer, and
Architectural Engineer—It’s all good.