network administrator, a systems engineer and an IT Director were walking
through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a
Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only
grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first!
Me first!" says the systems engineer. "I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman." Poof! He's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the network administrator. "I want
to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional volleyball player
on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! She's gone. "You're
next," the Genie says to the IT Director. The IT Director says, "I
want those two back at their desk after lunch."
Dangerous exercise for computer people: Jumping to
What helpdesk tech hear:
I know you believe you understand what you think I said,
but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
Never try to solve a problem on a Friday night. It can
spoil your weekend.
You know you are a computer geek when:
1. When you go into a computer
store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt
in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers'
questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.
2. You know Bill Gates' e-mail
address, but you don't know your own phone number.
3. You would rather get more dots
per inch than miles per gallon.
4. Off the top of your head, you
can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than :-)
5. You don't back up your home
6. You think jokes about being
unable to program a VCR are stupid.
7. The thought that CD could refer
to investment finance or music rarely enters your mind.
8. You sign Christmas cards by
putting :-) next to your signature.
9. You own a set of itty-bitty
screwdrivers and you actually know where they are.
10. You have more emotion cons than