are the Geeks, for they shall internet the earth
you hide your geekiness long enough to get a job?
By Doug Chick
enough certifications and computer knowledge you can get a job anywhere.
That is if youíre not too geeky. If you have a lot of interviews but never
get a call back itís because of your personality. Remember, experience may
get you the interview, but if you show up with Spock ears and a Babylon 5
belt buckle, no one will want to work with you. And although, Network
Managers and IS Directors are looking for experience they will gladly
sacrifice those for someone that can fit into their group.
stereotype of a computer nerd looks good in the movies but if you want to
rant about the evil Microsoft Empire and how Linux will one day rule the
world, you may as well put a propeller hat on your head and change your name
to Poindexter. Below are some helpful hints that will aid even the geekiest
computer nerd in a job interview.
First, find out what the
favored operating system is. For example; if itís a Novel shop you
better make no less than four references about Bill Gates and Satan,
otherwise they are going to think you are a spy and send you out the
door. If itís an NT shop only reference Bill Gates and Satan once,
donít make a comment about Netware at all because there will
most likely be ex-Netware Admins on board and they'll forget. If it's an
all NT shop though, make up something about Linux. It doesnít really
matter what, theyíre not going to know what the hell you are saying
anyways. If itís an all Linux shop than you are most likely suffering
from a hallucination brought on by someone slipping drugs into your
food. Most likely your parents tired of waiting for you to move out. And
of course, if itís an all Unix shop; go ahead and put the ears back on
because youíll be in a basement somewhere and never see a real human
being again anyways. Ah, if it were only true.
Before any interview, go to
the menís department in the mall and ask someone to pick out an
interview outfit for you. Trust the salesman, he or she are trained
professionalsóand donít argue! Remember if you were any good at it
youíd have a girlfriend.
Donít speak of government
corruption, corporate conspiracies, or things that you can do with a
bottle of auto lubricant, a tennis ball and a monkey with an incurable
case of flatulence. Just trust me on this one, okay.
If it comes up, you like
the old Star Trek and Next Generation equally but different. Deep Star 9
and Voyager was okay. And you may admit to watching Zena.
Donít tell them how many
computers that you have hooked on a network at home; they already
assumed that and they donít care.
Donít volunteer any
information about any certifications that you may have, unless they ask
for specific information. Certifications look good on a resume, but if
youíre on an interview with an older more seasoned professional, he or
she may be turned off by it.
If they ask where do you
expect to be in five years, you may think ďIíll hope to have your
job." But never say it, because the interviewing is already
thinking that and is really looking for someone that is great with
computers but incapable of speaking to anyone above the rank of Klingon.
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