A Website Dedicated to Computer Professional...and some not so Professional

Lawsuits lawsuits lawsuits. LAWSUITS!
by William Nett

"You got peanut butter in my chocolate!" Says SCO, "No, you got chocolate in my peanut butter!," Says Linux. wait a minute, who the hell invited Macadamia nuts and white chocolate? Ok, nobody move, and somebody get that caramel rep out of here!

"Sir, I've got Washington on line one," Says my Admin. The president!? "No sir, Washington apples, and Macintosh on line three." Ok, everybody STOP! This past month has been a brain freeze of lawsuits, my coworker has warned me this week about using his first name in my e-mail, and my lawyer warned me about using my last name in public. seems Micro$oft has a product with the same name minus one 't' and my co-worker has the same first name as me.

Hah! I shouted, I'm older! He promptly showed me his father's birth certificate with a smitten smile. same first name. Damn! His father was four years older than mine, and we all have the same first name. 

"Sir, we have Steve Jobs on line four. seems he wants to talk to you about our recent monster posting. he didn't like the word 'jobs' in the heading." AAAGH! I'm going nuts! "Sir, Dole Incorporated is on line five, and Disney is on six.". Put them on hold!

"Mr. Nett," says Bill, "We understand that you have the same last name as our product and your cookies have indicated more than on instance of the letter 'X' which could conceivably be a reference to our XML model," Hold on Bill. "Mike, erase the porn!" I'm sorry Bill, you were saying?"

"Sir, PBS is on line seven. there's a Mr. C. Monster who wants to speak with you."  "That's GARBAGE!!!," I shout, "Sir, Mr. Oscar T. Grouch on eight, who claims IP rights to canning. Washington, Macintosh, HR, Steve Jobs, Dole, Disney, Mr. Gates, and an adult entertainment company are all still all on hold."

AAAAGGGGHHHH!!! "Blink!" The network is quiet.. Heh heh heh, it's packets and hubs and switches and routers. if I hide in this closet long enough, and if I close my eyes. I can be invisible. Maybe they'll all go away? Damn. I'm a Network Administrator. Shoot me please?

William M. Nett


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