Lawsuits lawsuits lawsuits.
by William Nett
got peanut butter in my chocolate!" Says SCO, "No, you got
chocolate in my peanut butter!," Says Linux. wait a minute, who the
hell invited Macadamia nuts and white chocolate? Ok, nobody move, and
somebody get that caramel rep out of here!
"Sir, I've got Washington on line one," Says my Admin. The
president!? "No sir, Washington apples, and Macintosh on line
three." Ok, everybody STOP! This past month has been a brain freeze of
lawsuits, my coworker has warned me this week about using his first name in
my e-mail, and my lawyer warned me about using my last name in public. seems
Micro$oft has a product with the same name minus one 't' and my co-worker
has the same first name as me.
Hah! I shouted, I'm older! He promptly showed me his father's birth
certificate with a smitten smile. same first name. Damn! His father was four
years older than mine, and we all have the same first name.
"Sir, we have Steve Jobs on line four. seems he wants to talk to you
about our recent monster posting. he didn't like the word 'jobs' in the
heading." AAAGH! I'm going nuts! "Sir, Dole Incorporated is on
line five, and Disney is on six.". Put them on hold!
"Mr. Nett," says Bill, "We understand that you have the same
last name as our product and your cookies have indicated more than on
instance of the letter 'X' which could conceivably be a reference to our XML
model," Hold on Bill. "Mike, erase the porn!" I'm sorry Bill,
you were saying?"
"Sir, PBS is on line seven. there's a Mr. C. Monster who wants to speak
with you." "That's GARBAGE!!!," I shout, "Sir, Mr.
Oscar T. Grouch on eight, who claims IP rights to canning. Washington,
Macintosh, HR, Steve Jobs, Dole, Disney, Mr. Gates, and an adult
entertainment company are all still all on hold."
AAAAGGGGHHHH!!! "Blink!" The network is quiet.. Heh heh heh, it's
packets and hubs and switches and routers. if I hide in this closet long
enough, and if I close my eyes. I can be invisible. Maybe they'll all go
away? Damn. I'm a Network Administrator. Shoot me please?
William M. Nett