The Bitter  Network Administrator

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The Course for All Managers
by Graham Parks

I want to sound you all out on an idea I have had for a business venture that will raise the practical management skills of candidates while making me a ton of money.  I plan to run a senior managerial course with a revolutionary approach. In one course it will give candidates real time practical experience in addressing customer satisfaction, resource management, forward planning, financial management, environmental concerns in business, health and safety, dealing with unforeseen emergencies and using advisors to good effect. The best part is that it is a simple course to set up and deliver. All that is required is to sit the candidates down at a PC and have them play Sim City for three days.

Hey! Stop laughing! You were laughing, right? OK, so I'm not being completely serious, but stop and think about it. Have you experienced the manager who thinks that yelling "I want this and I want it now" is the way to get things done. I have. Have you met the guy who delegates everything in five minutes, clears off to the golf course and when he comes back complains that people are not treating the project seriously. I have. I once met a manager whose method of dealing with staff who approached him for guidance was to tell them to put more effort in. 

The beauty of the course is that the managers have to make real management decisions, carry them out and deal with the results without being made to feel they have been demoted to ordinary workers. They are now The Mayor, with total control over every aspect of the project to build a successful city. Heck, they can even be God and create the landscape they want to build on. Being able to play God should broaden the appeal of this course. Now when the road system starts to fall apart because the budget was cut, yelling at the on screen road department to "Be more customer focused", "Be more of a team player" or the classic "We expect our employees to go that extra mile" (translation: we want more output and do not want to pay you for it), nothing will happen. It may take a while but that age old message will finally sink in. You get what you pay for.

The end result of this is that we all might get some decent leadership, rather than a figurehead who dreams up what they think is a master plan, jots it down on a memo pad, delegates it and then wonders why the finished scheme is nothing like they imagined. This started out as an exercise in free thinking satire on the inadequacy of way too many business leaders and the sometimes unbelievable lunacy observed in what passes as management training, but I am beginning to wonder. Hmm. If you think this idea is fine and are interested in learning more please contact me and I will tell you how to send an unfeasibly large amount of money to me. If you think this sounds like a complete scam dreamt up by a smartass techie with attitude, then you have no need for my services as you are probably already running your own successful company and I wish you well.

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